new and upcoming

Friends!

I've started writing book reviews for Lambda Literary; you can check out my latest one here. I'm getting two more books in the mail very soon, so you can expect to see more of them asap.

I've been hard at work doing edits on my manuscript (coming out this year via Eliezer Tristan Publishing), which hasn't left me a ton of time to do other things, but I am currently doing a rewatch of Brooklyn 99 in order to log every single movie reference; I'm only a few episodes in and the list is already long. I'm going to endeavor to liveblog/review every movie referenced in B99. I reserve the right to not review horribly offensive movies, like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective (woah there transphobia); I will not, however, excuse myself from straight-up horrible movies, like Ghost Rider and Ghost Rider 2. Yes, my friends, for your entertainment (and my own, let's be real), I will be subjecting myself to a large part of Nicolas Cage's filmography, as well as ALL of the Die Hard movies.

I've got a piece coming out in a journal in the next few months, and I'm submitting as much as my poor beleaguered self can handle, so hopefully I'll have more links to post soon!

I'll be finishing up this season of The Good Place (and then never recapping a show again, my god is it exhausting).

xoxoxox
c 

life update: long-time readers will not believe this at all

I'm writing a book!

I know I've said that a million times here before, but this time, it's actually happening. I have a publisher and I've signed a contract and everything. At some point soon, I will have an actual physical copy of a book that I wrote myself! (A few, actually, as I saw in my contract.)

If you want more updates on this project, check out my Patreon or Facebook.

update on content

Hello friends!

the bean also says hi

After putting myself through a pretty punishing three days of The Good Place recaps, I've decided that after season 3 of TGP ends, I won't write single-episode reviews/recaps for any show that I'm actively invested in/watching with my wife or that's currently on the air.

That basically means I'm going to pick a bunch of trash and recap/live blog that, so get ready for more stuff like Secret Life, which was one of the most popular things I've ever done on this blog so hooray!

I might still write essays on shows I like - I've been working on a B99 piece for a while now - and I might decide to do episode-by-episode recaps of non-trash shows that are either off the air or Netflix/Amazon Prime exclusives, but, let's be real, writing those Secret Life posts was a hell of a lot of fun, and I'm not mad about returning to trash-watching at alllllllllllllll.

If you have tips for fun trash, hit me up! I'm not going to keep going on shows that are wildly offensive (especially not if they're being offensive on purpose, whether "as a joke" or not (let's be real, it's never actually a joke)), but I probably won't abandon shows that make gaffes from time to time.

I'm also working on a bunch of fiction (you can read some and get more exclusive content by supporting my Patreon), so I probably won't post TV stuff more than ~once a week.

That's all! No more news atm. Check back within the next 24 hours for s3e9 of TGP.

xox
c

redbeanbun goes to the movies: much ado about nothing

Point the first (a reminder, really): I love Joss Whedon.

Point the second (also a reminder, and not really that salient a point): I love Nathan Fillion.

Point the third: black and white is an underrated art form that does not get used enough these days.

Point the fourth: slapstick is likewise underrated.

Point the fifth: Joss Whedon and his wife have an incredible house and know how to throw one hell of a party.

I do not really know what to say about this movie except for that it is fantastic. If you are a person who loves Whedon, you will love it. If you are a person who loves Shakespeare, you will love it.

Instead, I will supply you with some samples of opinions from people who have also seen it.

My lovely girlfriend, Abby, made the point that Shakespeare comedies are meant to be sort of farcical and stagy, adding small touches of humor to desperately tragic scenes - something any Whedon fan will recognize as intrinsic to his canon.

My friend E, who accompanied me to The Avengers, loved the fact that it all felt like an inside joke to Whedon fans, because every bit character seemed to be someone from the Buffyverse or other Whedon operations (including Andrew of the Trio alongside Nathan Fillion as the cops).

My roommate Caitlyn, who has accompanied me to many a film (but did not for this one - she got a ticket to a screening where Joss Whedon led a Q&A afterwards, so I hate her forever), noted that she often has a hard time tracking the action when watching Shakespeare that uses the original scripts, since the flow of the English language has changed a lot in the last few hundred years and so it can be confusing to figure out what is being said when the words used may not mean the same thing any more. Thanks in large part, I believe, to the blocking and exaggeratedly physical nature of the scenes, she (and I) had no problem following what was happening.

In a lot of ways, I think this is the way that a Shakespearean comedy should be presented. The histories and tragedies are supposed to be a bit more serious, but back in his day, plays were entertainment for the masses. We have a sort of reverence for the past and give a weight to things that doesn't necessarily represent how they would've been used in the past. Peeling back some of the pretension by adding heaping helpings of physical comedy and sight gags, while still making people who want to feel highbrow feel like they're seeing something arty by having it in black and white is honestly kind of genius.

I may be giving too much credit to JW here - this was, after all, just kind of a thing he did for fun in between other projects - but, whatever. I think he's incredible, and I think this movie was fantastic. It's currently in limited release (NYC, LA, and San Francisco) but hopefully it'll hit a wide (if only art-house) release later this summer. It's fun and bright and I have never heard so many heartfelt laughs from an audience during one movie before. 

new year's resolutions

1. Remember to focus, breathe, and take your meds.

2. Make a regular schedule and stick to it.

3. Listen to your body and take its advice.

4. Learn how to study again (or for the first time, depending on who you ask).

5. Write daily, unless you can't. If you can't write, read.

my first non-positive review?!!?

So last night, I was SUPPOSED to have a date but that went horribly awry, and then I rage-sauteed some fajitas, and then my roommate needed me to come rescue her from the bodega near the subway because some creeper had followed her off the train, and then she was (understandably) like, I need to watch a movie before I can go to bed so I can feel less grossed and freaked out.

So, thanks to an incredibly deceptively funny and cute trailer, I was like, man! We should watch Save the Date! It's on Amazon Instant! It has Alison Brie AND Lizzy Caplan! And Roman from Party Down! And that guy who is married to Christina Hendricks! It has to be funny/good!

Like, sure, maybe a little awkward but awkward in a good, charming way!

Readers, I trusted this trailer.

america, you beautiful so-and-so

from xkcd - click pic to go to site

My mom always worries when I get really angry or upset over a piece of news - she says that you can't fight every battle yourself, that she hates to see me upset, that she worries because it seems like I care about literally everything with my whole self and that seems exhausting.

Well, it is exhausting, but last night, the strength of how much I feel everything was directed entirely into joy and disbelief. My friends and I sat at a bar, discussing gender politics, you know, like you do, and filling out a map of the US with red and blue, and at some point, MSNBC threw a picture of Obama onto the screen with the word ELECTED underneath him.

"What is happening," I said, my hands flying to my face. "What is happening, what is happening."

My friend Y looked at me like I was going to be sick for a second, until she looked up at the screen herself. Then she, like a normal human, jumped up and started shrieking and hugging me and our other friends, and I just started sobbing. I cried, on and off, with giant, wracking, heaving sobs that left me breathless, that almost made me start to hyperventilate, until I finally fell asleep at 2:30AM after the acceptance speech.

And now, of course, all that crying and all that being-awake-from-5:30AM-to-2:30AM has left me in bed with an encroaching sinus infection and a generally swollen face (inside AND out! I'm so lucky).

But hey, there's four more years for Obamacare to get sorted. I guess my ridiculous face-mess has some time to get used to medical treatment.

HA. I could barely write that sentence without wanting to cry! SO YAY. OKAY. GOOD.

Oh, and Russian readers: some guy interviewed me and my friends in Times Square last night, and claimed to be from TV One in Russia, though we may have misheard him. So if you see any news blurbs about the US election over there, keep an eye out for me - I'm the girl who gives a few decent answers and then starts crying, and I'm wearing a blue hat. It would be cool to be on Russian TV.

And guys - I know that things aren't perfect; I know that Obama has done some things that I don't agree with; I know that the only way for America to keep moving forward is to keep being challenged and questioned by its constituents, and I believe that who you vote for should be a thoughtful, complicated, and difficult choice, and I respect anyone who takes the time to think about who and what they're supporting, even if I can't understand their reasoning whatsoever - I'm just taking a moment here to celebrate.

Anyway, here is a pictorial list of things I am happy about from last night, in no particular order after Obama:

OBAMA, you cheeky devil

Tammy Duckworth, Representative, IL
Half-Thai, combat veteran, amputee

Tammy Baldwin, Senator, WI
First open lesbian senator

Mazie Hirono, Senator, HI
First Asian-American female senator

Marriage equality passed by ballot initiative in Maine

...and in Maryland as well

Mary Gonzalez, State Representative, TX
First openly pansexual elected official

Minnesota defeated a proposed marriage equality ban

While it's still a little early to call definitively, it looks like Washington state
approved a law passed earlier this year to allow same-sex marriages

Maryland passed a version of the DREAM Act by ballot initiative,
allowing undocumented immigrants to get in-state tuition at public colleges

New Hampshire elected a female governor and entirely female
congressional delegation - the first time this has ever happened 

Puerto Rico stands poised to become the 51st state of the union,
pending congressional approval (Obama is backing PR's decision)

And finally, I will just leave you with this.

**PS: If I've missed any historic firsts that I should include here 

(and yes, I'm aware of Colorado and Washington's new marijuana stati), 

please let me know in the comments or by email!

11/8/12: ETA: 

Tulsi Gabbard, Representative, HI
First Hindu person to be elected to congress

AMERICANS: VOTE.

If you don't know where to vote, googling "polling places" will give you a convenient google-based web form  to find your polling location.

Make sure you know what initiatives will be on the ballot in your state - I've heard "but I didn't know that's what Prop #X did! I didn't mean to vote that way!" way too many times.

Know who's up for what spots and why you're voting for them. If you're not sure who to vote for, find an organization that supports things you believe in, whether that's Planned Parenthood, HRC, or whatever else, and see who and what they endorse.

Know your rights as they relate to your job and your ability to vote. Know the hours that your polling location is open (generally 6AM to 9PM).

Finally, vote, goddammit. It's both your right and your obligation as an American.

And if you don't vote, and try to complain to me about "what's happening to this country" any time between now and the next time you vote? I will slap you across the face. 

hurricane part two

I'm lucky enough to live on a relatively high (and therefore dry) part of Manhattan, and far enough north that there's quite a bit of land between me and the ocean. So my roommates and I fared just fine through the storm, and we mostly just went a little bit insane from cabin fever and watching movies.

Some parts of my lovely city were not so lucky - there are about a million pictures of floating cars, sandbagged stores, and an eerily dark skyline. By now, everybody knows about the NICU at NYU Hospital being evacuated after both the emergency generators failed.

It's incredibly weird to have been here for this, to have this wildly different experience from those just a few miles from my house. We never even lost power. It's just totally bizarre.

I might review everything I watched over the course of being housebound by Sandy, which is a whole lot of things. So many things. But yeah. I just wanted to say that I'm fine, and large parts of my city are fine, but large parts of it aren't. If you can donate blood or money, consider doing so. According to the Red Cross and other similar agencies, those are the most useful things you can give.

I hope everyone is healthy and safe, and I'll get back to ridiculous TV banter soon, I promise.

hurricane? i barely know her!

Hello friends!

Up here in Hamilton Heights, there isn't an awful lot happening. It's windy and a bit rainy and that's kind of all. But my office is closed tomorrow, so that seems to mean that this is pretty serious. Hooray.

One of the worst things about something like this happening in New York is that it is incredibly densely populated. That means that the apartment that all your New York friends say is huge (since we have a kitchen AND a living room) starts to feel very, very small.

I've already watched like seven episodes of Battlestar, and the new OUAT and Revenge, and eaten two meals, and played with my rabbit. There is only so much to be done in a space this size. I'm about to start doing pushups just to be doing something. I guess I could clean my room, except I can't move anything outside. And I don't think there would be much point in taking my stuff to the laundromat if there's a chance the power might go out before I finish washing things. Maybe I will wash things in my bathtub.

So, my update from the frontlines is that cabin fever is the most boring thing. Possibly ever. It is nothing like this at all:

It's this unending waiting, I think, that is really getting to me. It doesn't feel like it's ever going to end right now.

Oh my god. NPR is playing this song right now:

GOOD JOKE, WNYC. GOOD JOKE.

People are having to evacuate and people are without power, so I'm pretty lucky. I also live incredibly close to an emergency shelter, which leads me to believe that I'm living in a relatively safe area. So that's good.

I'll try to let you guys know if anything happens. But now I need to do some pushups.

life update

Good lord, what has even been happening in the last month or so?

I got an acupuncturist, who I will definitely write more about, because I'm obsessed with her.

I applied to grad school (whaaaaaaaa? yeah that happened).

I started dating someone? What? Yes. That happened.

I journal'd for a new project my friend Sonia's putting together called Catcalled (that link goes to the preview tumblr, and the real site launches in October).

I started? or continued? training to be an NSO (non-skating official) for Gotham Girls Roller Derby, which I hope means I'll learn the rules well enough to actually play when I get good enough (though I've already got my derby name).

I worked on this convention I'm planning for my frorority I pledged in college (okay, co-educational literary society, pfffff trifles).

I visited San Francisco and found out why hashtags are so awesome at live events, and, you know, saw my best friend in the universe and met her new dog and had an all-around amazing time.

Oh, and I started watching about fifty thousand shows. Be ready for that.

PS, The Vampire Diaries comes back in SEVENTEEN DAYS. And Castle is back TODAY. THANK. GOD.

sorry y'alls

I seem to be experiencing some health issues and will be going on hiatus for a bit. My dear sister, originalbun, may still post here from time to time, and if I'm feeling like it I may also post on occasion, but don't really expect anything for the next few months.

conversations my sister and i have

 M:  hahaha

f---ing Rob Kardashian

with is "sock line"

what the f---.

 me:  uhhhhhhh

 M:  who is like

"why yes! i would love to start a sock line!"

fancy socks! green socks! soft socks! wool socks! socks of every shape and color!

 me:  hahahahhahahhahahahhaa

how many shapes of socks can there be

 M:  dude, my point exactly

it is the dumbest idea for a business

 me:  well

someone has to make socks

 M:  yaeh

hanes

and no one else

 me:  but then they get a monopoly on the sock market!

suddenly the price of socks shoots through the roof!

the economy is completely destabilized by this sock-conundrum and everyone ends up with sweaty feet in their loafers and it's TOTALLY GROSS

 M:  ewwwww

 me:  this is the world where the sock market is not diversified

argh so behind

So I'm two or three weeks backed up on Secret Life, and at least one week backed up on PLL, and someone I follow on tumblr keeps posting photosets from Teen Wolf so now I'm going to have to start watching that too, and my roommate and I just watched the first episodes of The Wire and Girls so now I have to get through those as well, BUT I AM HAVING A SOCIAL LIFE RIGHT NOW, D:

It's weird how much I miss TV when I'm being a normal human and interacting with friends. I don't mean that I don't enjoy being around humans, because I do, I GUESS, it's just that I'll be making plans and there's a little nagging voice in the back of my head being like, BUT YOU HAVE SO MUCH VAMPIRE DIARIES LEFT TO WATCH, and I'm like, I know, little voice, I know, but like, I really should see this person, I miss them too, and the voice is like, BUT WHAT ABOUT ELENA, SHE NEEEEEDS YOU TO WATCH THE REST OF THE SEASON, and I'm like, she's a character on a TV show, shut up.

Anyway. My point is that I WILL be posting on the Secret Life episodes I've missed, probably this weekend, it's just that this has been a good week for me socially. So many friends! So. Many. Friends.

Also I may have kind of shaved my head a little bit, and it's making me wish I could shave it like all the way all the way, but I don't think I can because day jobs. 

Anyway lovers, I hope, if you are in the US, that the fourth of July was a delightful and incredibly American evening for you, and for those of you in Russia, I hope your fourth of July was warm? I don't know. Everybody has the fourth of July, but you know, we're just more into setting things on fire for it here in America.

#new-to-adulthood-problems: HOLY CRAP THE DENTIST IS EXPENSIVE

So, part of having a job (yay!) with insurance (double yay!) is that you're expected to be on your own for your healthcare (booooooooooooo). Which, I mean, is fair. I'm an adult now and I pay my own bills and blah blah blah independence and whatever.

The point is, I had a really rude awakening when I went to get a filling replaced at the dentist today.

I have obviously been to a dentist before, and I even still have all my original teeth, so I've never had anything too crazy done, just a few fillings here and there over the years (especially around the time I had braces - man, do those things make it hard to keep your teeth clean). Anyway, the point is that the last time I went to the dentist, I was still in college and went to my family dentist in my hometown, under my parents' insurance, while my parents were still footing the bill for me being alive and staying alive (which, oh my god, so much more money than expected, maintaining these stupid fleshsacks). So I'd never really had to deal with a dental copay before.

I've only ever really had medical copays, which can get messy (I've had surgeries, been to specialists, been to the ER a whole mess of times, so on and so forth), especially when it's something out of the ordinary. But most of the time, I'm used to my copay being around $20, give or take, with the occasional gasping-and-clutching-my-wallet prescription copay of close to $100 (dear everyone, if you think you have a sinus infection, go to your doctor IMMEDIATELY, and just trust me on this one).

Also, I definitely freak out whenever anything costs upwards of $100. I usually do it quietly and inside my own head, and really quickly think about my bank account balance and whether or not I can still eat, and all the normal freak-out math you do when you're young and living on your own for the first time.

So you can imagine my inner turmoil when I got out of the dentist's chair, right side of my face still completely numb, and the receptionist tells me my copay will be $235.

Well, actually, she said "Two-thirty-five," and for a minute I was thinking, "That's completely ridiculous! She must mean $2.35, right? Wait, that doesn't make sense either." So I did the mental math really quickly and slowly handed over my debit card, all the while kind of thinking "Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit." Luckily I have a job that gives me insurance and also pays me well enough that I can work around that GIGANTIC F'ING GAPING HOLE that was once $235 in my bank account, but suddenly I can understand why people hate going to the dentist.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Dear all young people just getting started on your own, it is in fact better to go to the dentist than not, because what was a $235 filling today could have easily been a several-thousand-dollar root canal in six months' or a year's time.

But still. Just, you know. A warning. Because I really had no idea. Good god.

Somebody get moving on making our brains be part of an amorphous consciousness, stat. Then we won't even have teeth to worry about. Yes. 

obama, you handsome devil, you!

Today was one of those days where everyone on the subway has a copy of AM New York (which, most days, nobody bothers to pick up, unless they left their headphones at home).

But today everybody had one in hand. The last time I saw this happen was when all those prostitutes were getting murdered and left on the beach in Long Island, so that tells you how much it takes for New Yorkers to pick up a copy of AMNY.

I started crying on the subway, because I realized that I could finally see a future where I could get married in my hometown. It had never occurred to me before that I wanted that, but if my feelings today have anything to do with it, I really, really do.

I'm so proud and amazed and grateful to call Barack Obama my president today. I can't wait to vote for him again. I never thought I could feel so personally validated and happy from a political gesture.

And someday, I'm gonna meet the girl of my dreams, and I'm gonna marry her, and I'm gonna be able to do that in my parents' backyard if I want to, with all of my family surrounding me.

And I want to.

{there's this really cool feature on the Times site - I left my comment and you should too.}

life, as she is played

Hello, loves!

I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been sort of slacking in the posting department lately. Mainly because things are kind of crazy busy these days. Some of it is really good, and some of it is just normal, and a very small amount of it is not awesome, but for the most part it's just life happening and that is that.

So, in the interest of keeping you, my lovely readers, coming back for more, I'm going to enact a more stable posting schedule. I'm going to promise you all (for the time being) at least the following:

• A TV-or-movie-based post on Tuesdays
• A NY Dating Rules post on Thursdays
• Live-Tumblr'ing my watching of OUaT for the rest of the season, which will happen when it happens, GEEZ GET OFF MY BACK

I'm really gonna have to up my Monday night pop-culture consumption for you all. I hope you appreciate what I do for you. Because it's all for you. 

Anyway, I hope this makes everyone's Sunday night, or something. I like how I started this as a writing exercise and I have hardly written any fiction since I started (over a year ago. CONGRATS, SELF!). 

Alright. Love you all. You're the best. 

(As always, if 3 times a week is not enough to see what I care about, you can find links to my various social networks on this page.)

new york dating tips: practice, practice, practice

[just a note: this one kind of got away from me, so forgive me if it makes little-to-no sense. I'll come up with one that's more coherent soon.]

This article popped up in my RSS feed a few days ago via The Gloss, with a recently engaged businesswoman talking about what she's learned from a life of dating (takeaway: stop wasting valuable business time worrying about dating, you could be using that mental energy to be [partner] at your [firm] by 28 instead). It's a good article and totally worth reading, but the bit in the beginning about Chuck E. Cheeze got me thinking about my own nascent dating history.

My first ever romantic entanglement was conducted largely via MSN Instant Messenger and a dial-up modem, with some boy whose name I no longer remember, but I know it was something sort of interesting, like Gideon or something like that. We told each other we liked each other on IM, but not with emoticons, because I was above emoticons then. We decided to meet in the library before first period (this was exciting in part because it was very early in seventh grade, and I was still super stoked on having seven different classes in one day).

On the appointed day, I took my male best friend with me for moral support and met up with Gideon-or-something. We stared at each other for about a minute, and then I think I giggled and ran away. It was a torrid affair. (By which I mean, I'm pretty sure that was the end of it.)

But then, later, on MSN, again, because I never learn, I think I asked this same boy why things weren't working out. And by "asked," I mean "interrogated about my shortcomings as a romantic partner." If you're wondering why I said I "think" I did this, and then got weirdly specific about what I asked, that would be because I repeated this process several times over the years.

So my message today, dear readers, is this:

Learn from your goddamn mistakes already.

new york dating tips

I am obviously an authority on dating in New York, as I have dated about half of Manhattan (and probably a third of Brooklyn, with a few stray Bronx and Queens folks for good measure). This, in the world according to Carrie Bradshaw, makes me someone to be listened to on the topic.

Sure, I've only had one relationship that lasted longer than six weeks, but WHO CARES.

Anyway! This is my excellent, top-notch advice for those years when you just can't live with 'em, but you can't live without 'em. And you're incapable of liking anyone for more than fifteen minutes. I'll be posting one every so often for the foreseeable future (i.e., until I get bad at dating).

Never date on your line.

i'm sick, so sue me

Hey y'alls. I have bronchitis! Yay hooray!

Basically, I'm just tired out of my mind. Add to that that originalbun is enjoying a lovely holiday with her gentleman and you've got no posts from us.

I'll get back to regular posts in the next few days, once my antibiotics kick in.

Yayyyy.