america, you beautiful so-and-so

from xkcd - click pic to go to site

My mom always worries when I get really angry or upset over a piece of news - she says that you can't fight every battle yourself, that she hates to see me upset, that she worries because it seems like I care about literally everything with my whole self and that seems exhausting.

Well, it is exhausting, but last night, the strength of how much I feel everything was directed entirely into joy and disbelief. My friends and I sat at a bar, discussing gender politics, you know, like you do, and filling out a map of the US with red and blue, and at some point, MSNBC threw a picture of Obama onto the screen with the word ELECTED underneath him.

"What is happening," I said, my hands flying to my face. "What is happening, what is happening."

My friend Y looked at me like I was going to be sick for a second, until she looked up at the screen herself. Then she, like a normal human, jumped up and started shrieking and hugging me and our other friends, and I just started sobbing. I cried, on and off, with giant, wracking, heaving sobs that left me breathless, that almost made me start to hyperventilate, until I finally fell asleep at 2:30AM after the acceptance speech.

And now, of course, all that crying and all that being-awake-from-5:30AM-to-2:30AM has left me in bed with an encroaching sinus infection and a generally swollen face (inside AND out! I'm so lucky).

But hey, there's four more years for Obamacare to get sorted. I guess my ridiculous face-mess has some time to get used to medical treatment.

HA. I could barely write that sentence without wanting to cry! SO YAY. OKAY. GOOD.

Oh, and Russian readers: some guy interviewed me and my friends in Times Square last night, and claimed to be from TV One in Russia, though we may have misheard him. So if you see any news blurbs about the US election over there, keep an eye out for me - I'm the girl who gives a few decent answers and then starts crying, and I'm wearing a blue hat. It would be cool to be on Russian TV.

And guys - I know that things aren't perfect; I know that Obama has done some things that I don't agree with; I know that the only way for America to keep moving forward is to keep being challenged and questioned by its constituents, and I believe that who you vote for should be a thoughtful, complicated, and difficult choice, and I respect anyone who takes the time to think about who and what they're supporting, even if I can't understand their reasoning whatsoever - I'm just taking a moment here to celebrate.

Anyway, here is a pictorial list of things I am happy about from last night, in no particular order after Obama:

OBAMA, you cheeky devil

Tammy Duckworth, Representative, IL
Half-Thai, combat veteran, amputee

Tammy Baldwin, Senator, WI
First open lesbian senator

Mazie Hirono, Senator, HI
First Asian-American female senator

Marriage equality passed by ballot initiative in Maine

...and in Maryland as well

Mary Gonzalez, State Representative, TX
First openly pansexual elected official

Minnesota defeated a proposed marriage equality ban

While it's still a little early to call definitively, it looks like Washington state
approved a law passed earlier this year to allow same-sex marriages

Maryland passed a version of the DREAM Act by ballot initiative,
allowing undocumented immigrants to get in-state tuition at public colleges

New Hampshire elected a female governor and entirely female
congressional delegation - the first time this has ever happened 

Puerto Rico stands poised to become the 51st state of the union,
pending congressional approval (Obama is backing PR's decision)

And finally, I will just leave you with this.

**PS: If I've missed any historic firsts that I should include here 

(and yes, I'm aware of Colorado and Washington's new marijuana stati), 

please let me know in the comments or by email!

11/8/12: ETA: 

Tulsi Gabbard, Representative, HI
First Hindu person to be elected to congress

AMERICANS: VOTE.

If you don't know where to vote, googling "polling places" will give you a convenient google-based web form  to find your polling location.

Make sure you know what initiatives will be on the ballot in your state - I've heard "but I didn't know that's what Prop #X did! I didn't mean to vote that way!" way too many times.

Know who's up for what spots and why you're voting for them. If you're not sure who to vote for, find an organization that supports things you believe in, whether that's Planned Parenthood, HRC, or whatever else, and see who and what they endorse.

Know your rights as they relate to your job and your ability to vote. Know the hours that your polling location is open (generally 6AM to 9PM).

Finally, vote, goddammit. It's both your right and your obligation as an American.

And if you don't vote, and try to complain to me about "what's happening to this country" any time between now and the next time you vote? I will slap you across the face. 

mr. thackeray binx, ladies and gentlemen

So last night, I decided to listen to the debate on the radio, because I was crazy anxious, so I was sitting in bed and letting my new baby bunny, Thackeray Binx, hop around on my bed with me.

As it turns out, he's very dedicated to social networking.

"lol @BindersofWomen nice one"

WHAT'S UP WHAT ARE YOU DOING CAN I HELP

He is also pretty dedicated to being up in my face.

Oh, and the debate was pretty great. I didn't really think that Planned Parenthood would ever get a positive mention in a presidential debate, or pay inequality, or poverty, or LGBTQ and other minority rights, or the phrase "undocumented workers" instead of "illegals" (although SOMEONE said "illegals" last night, not that I'm pointing fingers). 

ANYWAY my life is doing pretty okay right now is what I'm saying.

bristol palin needs educating.

So, over on my G+, I decided to give her a hand. I'm copying it here because I feel like it.


First, the article I'm referencing: Bristol Palin Blasts President Obama For Supporting Gay Marriage, Says His Daughters Watch Too Much Glee


In which she is quoted as saying (my emphasis added):

While it’s great to listen to your kids’ ideas, there’s also a time when dads simply need to be dads. In this case, it would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage. Or that – as great as her friends may be – we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home. Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.

In this situation, it was the other way around. I guess we can be glad that Malia and Sasha aren’t younger, or perhaps today’s press conference might have been about appointing Dora the Explorer as Attorney General because of her success in stopping Swiper the Fox.

Sometimes dads should lead their family in the right ways of thinking. In this case, it would’ve been nice if the President would’ve been an actual leader and helped shape their thoughts instead of merely reflecting what many teenagers think after one too many episodes of Glee.

To which I have to say, Oh hey there bristol palin, I think you missed a whole big chunk of actually relevant academia on this topic (since you say that "we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home"), let me help you out:

"The author's study found that adult-aged daughters of lesbian mothers did not significantly differ from adult daughters of heterosexual mothers on gender identity, gender role, sexual orientation, and social adjustment."

Children of Gay and Lesbian Parents
Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD
pages 177-196

Marriage & Family Review
Volume 14, Issue 3-4, 1989

"Children raised by lesbian mothers or gay fathers did not systematically differ from other children on any of the outcomes. The studies indicate that children raised by lesbian women do not experience adverse outcomes compared with other children. The same holds for children raised by gay men, but more studies should be done."

Outcomes for children with lesbian or gay parents. A review of studies from 1978 to 2000
Norman Anderssen, Christine Amlie, Erling André Ytterøy

Scandinavian Journal of Psychology
Volume 43, Issue 4, pages 335–351, September 2002

"More than two decades of research has failed to reveal important differences in the adjustment or development of children or adolescents reared by same-sex couples compared to those reared by other-sex couples. Results of the research suggest that qualities of family relationships are more tightly linked with child outcomes than is parental sexual orientation."

Children of Lesbian and Gay Parents
Charlotte J. Patterson, Department of Psychology, P.O. Box 400400, University of Virginia, Charlottesville, VA
Current Directions in Psychological Science
October 2006 vol. 15 no. 5 241-244

"This article provides an overview of the current legal terrain for lesbian and gay parents and their children in the United States today, an overview of relevant social science research, and some commentary on the interface between the two. It is concluded that research findings on lesbian and gay parents and their children provide no warrant for legal discrimination against these families."

Children of lesbian and gay parents: Psychology, law, and policy.
Patterson, Charlotte J.
American Psychologist, Vol 64(8), Nov 2009, 727-736.


I'm gonna give you the entire abstract for this one, just because i feel like it:

OBJECTIVES: The objective of this study was to document the psychological adjustment of adolescents who were conceived through donor insemination by lesbian mothers who enrolled before these offspring were born in the largest, longest running, prospective, longitudinal study of same-sex–parented families.

METHODS: Between 1986 and 1992, 154 prospective lesbian mothers volunteered for a study that was designed to follow planned lesbian families from the index children's conception until they reached adulthood. Data for the current report were gathered through interviews and questionnaires that were completed by 78 index offspring when they were 10 and 17 years old and through interviews and Child Behavior Checklists that were completed by their mothers at corresponding times. The study is ongoing, with a 93% retention rate to date.

RESULTS: According to their mothers' reports, the 17-year-old daughters and sons of lesbian mothers were rated significantly higher in social, school/academic, and total competence and significantly lower in social problems, rule-breaking, aggressive, and externalizing problem behavior than their age-matched counterparts in Achenbach's normative sample of American youth. Within the lesbian family sample, no Child Behavior Checklist differences were found among adolescent offspring who were conceived by known, as-yet-unknown, and permanently unknown donors or between offspring whose mothers were still together and offspring whose mothers had separated.

CONCLUSIONS: Adolescents who have been reared in lesbian-mother families since birth demonstrate healthy psychological adjustment. These findings have implications for the clinical care of adolescents and for pediatricians who are consulted on matters that pertain to same-sex parenting.

US National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study: Psychological Adjustment of 17-Year-Old Adolescents
Nanette Gartrell, MD, Henny Bos, PhD

PEDIATRICS Vol. 126 No. 1 July 1, 2010
pp. 28 -36

Keep your uneducated ass out of my politics, my bedroom, and my future.

obama, you handsome devil, you!

Today was one of those days where everyone on the subway has a copy of AM New York (which, most days, nobody bothers to pick up, unless they left their headphones at home).

But today everybody had one in hand. The last time I saw this happen was when all those prostitutes were getting murdered and left on the beach in Long Island, so that tells you how much it takes for New Yorkers to pick up a copy of AMNY.

I started crying on the subway, because I realized that I could finally see a future where I could get married in my hometown. It had never occurred to me before that I wanted that, but if my feelings today have anything to do with it, I really, really do.

I'm so proud and amazed and grateful to call Barack Obama my president today. I can't wait to vote for him again. I never thought I could feel so personally validated and happy from a political gesture.

And someday, I'm gonna meet the girl of my dreams, and I'm gonna marry her, and I'm gonna be able to do that in my parents' backyard if I want to, with all of my family surrounding me.

And I want to.

{there's this really cool feature on the Times site - I left my comment and you should too.}

mad men episodes 3 and 4, or why i really hate shows that aren't available online

I was at my parents' this weekend and as such had access to lovely, on-demand cable for four solid days. This is the sort of thing that a young 20-something living in New York doesn't really normally have access to, unless they live in an apartment with five roommates who are willing to split the cable (and even then, she's living in Brooklyn, so her rent's less than it would otherwise be) or have a very high income job, like finance or something (what I'm saying is, of all of my friends under the age of 28, living with other people under the age of 28, I know maybe three people who have cable, and I know a lot of people).

Anyway, the point is that for NO APPARENT REASON, AMC has decided that they don't want people to be able to legally stream their shows in a timely basis. AMC, I'm trying to be a good guy right now. This is what's happening. Except I haven't turned to the little devil on my shoulder yet, because I'm trying to keep things legit, AMC. I'm really trying. I haven't yet spent extra money on a season pass from Amazon, but that sort of seems like my option, to which I say, you're going to get pirated. Amazon's online streaming interface is wack at best, and completely WTF at worst, and people my age, we want things when we want them.

ANYWAY. The real point is that, thanks to my parents' awesome cable, I was able to catch up on Mad Men, and I have to say, I'm excited.

SPOILERS?

occupy the empty space (nyc activity alert)

Sorry for the wonkiness of the pic here, I don't know what I did,
but it was apparently somewhat wrong.

My good friend Sarah is one of the people behind Occupy the Empty Space, which is somehow both theater and political action movement, all at once!

The idea for the festival came from the housing crisis, wherein there is empty living space available but it remains unaffordable to people who need it.

Sarah says: "Space is so valuable these days, and
yet it is often abandoned or wasted. In NYC there is a 'lack of space,' or so it seems--but really, there is
plenty of it. Apartments, parking lots, all sorts of shelter and open areas--but they've been purchased by large corporations who aren't doing anything with their real estate except separating valuable resources from those who need it."

The event will feature FIFTEEN BRAND-SPANKING NEW ten-minute plays and a bunch of teach-ins, which I understand are like a class, but for free, and in public, and for everybody. Or something.

Anyway, it sounds really cool, I think Sarah has a play in it, and it's FREE. The plays could be awesome or they could be terrible, but it's definitely something different and interesting to do with your weekend, AND you even get to feel like you're doing something good by being there. Hot damn, NYCers. That's so many good things!

I'll be there, probably wearing this shirt, so please stop by and let me know if you're a reader! I'd love to meet you and give you the highest of fives for supporting my awesome friend and her awesome co-conspirators and the mammoth juggernaut of a festival that has been eating all of her time and keeping her too busy to hang out with me lately. Also, I'm totally gonna keep score on how many people I manage to get to go to there, and claim that I won (pretty much regardless of how many people I recruit).

Also, sorry for the huge delay in posting! I realized I needed a break from the internet when I made some joke about being a cross between HelloGiggles and The Bloggess, mixed with Dinosaur Comics. I needed some real-life-time. And now you can get that too! With me! And then we can be like, pfft, this isn't just a BLOG, on the INTERNET, it's a community! And we can hug, and talk about the internet.

Hope to see you there! 

thinking about my last post

My last post, a very menses post, resulted in a lot of my friends talking to me about cups. Like, a LOT of my friends. [Content note: sexual assault, women's rights, menses, Rush Limbaugh.]

things to read: CAITLYN GOT ME SICK edition

Actually, I kind of think literally everyone is sick right now. That's what happens when there's warm weather in New York in the winter - the subway turns into a huge incubator, and it's disgusting. Seriously, you get on and you're immediately hit with humidity, that is a mix of not having the air conditioning turned on and everyone wearing their winter clothes. New York, I love you, but you're bringing me down.

Also reminding me of why small towns are great is this post from Mental Floss about bookstore cats.

Here's an excellent example of why I love the Bloggess: this seems like a totally normal conversation in the canon of her life.

Here's Wil Wheaton singing Soft Kitty to his wife.

Mental Floss also live-tweeted the Superbowl, but in the awesome way that you would've hoped they would.

OK Go's new music video is also an ad for a car, but it follows in their trend of intense awesome. In fact, I'm not going to link you to it: I AM PUTTING IT HERE SO YOU MUST WATCH IT.

Did you watch it? I'm not going to give you anything else to look at until you watch it.

Okay. Good. Watch it again for good measure.

My high school friend Collette is writing her thesis on the female orgasm. Yup.

Remember how I was so angry last week? HAHAHAHAHAHA, KOMEN. IN YOUR FACE.

I'm mature.

But also, Planned Parenthood received HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS in one day. Thanks, internet. You're a real mensch.

I got a Pinterest account and have subsequently completely lost it. I love pinning things. (As a reminder, you can find all the places where I link to random crap on the internet on an insanely regular basis on my about me page.)

Finally, Caitlyn redeems herself by providing this link about what your favorite Disney villain says about you.

you read my blog, special edition: GET MAD

From this girl's facebook

So, I don't know if you guys are also insanely pissed about Susan G. Komen pulling their funding from Planned Parenthood, but I SURE AM.

Here are some links to get you doing things:

The NY Daily News ran this article that's worth reading, and also that has a poll, where "SCREW YOU SGK YOU SHOULD NOT PULL YOUR FUNDING THAT IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND NOT HELPING WOMEN GET SCREENED FOR BREAST CANCER YOU IDIOTIC JERKS" is currently in the lead! Let's keep it there.

Cecile Richards (president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America) wrote a piece for HuffPo about three easy things you can do, one of which is the following, most important link:

Sign this completely badass letter. It'll also get you on Planned Parenthood's action email list thing, where they contact you and say, SIGN THIS PETITION! or PLEASE GIVE US FIVE DOLLARS BECAUSE EVERYONE HATES US.

Sadly, right now, I'm getting a lot of emails from Planned Parenthood. Everyone's coming at them right now, and ironically, pretty much all of the people attacking PP don't actually know much about what PP is or does.

Yes, some Planned Parenthood centers provide abortions. But not all of them, not by a long shot. In some states (such as my home state, Utah), none of the Planned Parenthood centers provide abortions. They can provide referrals to places that will provide them, but they don't actually do them. I volunteered in the phone bank at the Salt Lake City Planned Parenthood, and I had to tell a bunch of scared-sounding girls that nobody was going to force them to do anything, and that Planned Parenthood actually has a lot of great counselling options and the people who work there just want what's best for you. They're not going to pressure you to do anything you don't want to do. They're not going to force you to look at pictures of aborted fetuses, like the so-called crisis pregnancy centers run by religious groups that spout lies like it's their job (maybe it is, I don't know, but I do know that getting tested for STIs does not make you more susceptible to them, as I heard one CPC worker say to a teenaged girl).

Also, none of Planned Parenthood's federal or state funding goes towards providing abortions. In my Planned Parenthood Action Council of New York training, the clinic workers explained to us how they had to keep everything separate - for example, if you get a new pack of birth control pills in any of the appointments that are linked to your abortion, pre-, post-, or whenever, those birth control pills have to come from the completely separate stock of abortion-related supplies that are on a separate shelf, with different stickers, and the UPC code has to be entered into a tracking database to prove that the money used to buy it was not from the non-abortion side. It's insane, but they do it, because they have to.

I don't even know how I feel about abortion. I think it's a really tricky moral question, and it's not one I ever want to have to deal with, but even if I don't agree with abortion (I'm not saying I do or I don't - I'm saying it's a really complicated topic), I definitely support Planned Parenthood and the insanely huge range of other things it does.

Planned Parenthood provides counselling. They do STI testing. They do pelvic and breast exams. They do Pap tests. They do sex ed (and yes, they include abstinence). They help parents learn to talk to their kids about sex. They help victims of rape or sexual assault get resources. They provide medically necessary care to women, and they do it on a sliding scale based on income. They don't turn anyone away based on an inability to pay. They have financial counselors to help you figure out how to get the care you need with the money you have (or don't have).

Basically, when I was in high school, and didn't know much about Planned Parenthood, I thought it was where you went to get an abortion. As I got older, learned more about the organization, and volunteered for it in various aspects, I realized that it's so much more than that, and so important to the health and well-being of a whole hell of a lot of people.

Honestly, if you don't know about what Planned Parenthood actually does, take half an hour to read about what they do and what they offer. It's a great organization, and as someone who was in an abusive relationship and was sexually assaulted, all I can say is that I wish I had known sooner the overwhelming amount of help that PP can provide.

/end rant. Back to waxing rhapsodic on pop culture.

things you should read, now that i have a tumblr edition

First and foremost, this is a thing that I have actually thought about doing, but probably would not do as awesome as this.

I love Overheard in New York. I don't think that I've ever linked it here before, and that is a shame, because it's great.

You can follow the Dalai Lama on Google+.

If you want scientific excuses for why it's totally fine for you to shout obscenities when you stub your toe, LOOK NO FURTHER! I have just the article for you, just there.

Racialicious ran this excellent response to an article on rape culture.

According to YouTube charts, JUSTIN BEIBER IS THE WINNER. OF LIFE.

Hey Girl, It's Ryan Gosling not doing it for you? Try Hey Girl, It's Rachel Maddow on for size.

I don't remember if I put this in the SOTU stuff (and am too lazy to check, and also this is awesome and let's just all look at it again regardless, forever): Chad Ochocinco live-tweeted (twat?) the State of the Union. Adorably. Except for the part where that seems like it is probably the government-knowledge level shared by most citizens, generally. But the part with Boehner just makes me want to giggle.

A neat interactive graphic about the history of Google, but also about the history of the internet - guys, remember Hamster Dance? Remember? Ah, those were certainly our halcyon days.

This is how I feel most days.

And when I feel like that, I go to this page and scroll up and down for about twenty minutes.

Do you have a tumblr? Let's be friends or whatever you call it over there, whippersnappers!

And, thanks, Neatorama: here's a fat bunny eating a banana.

also delightful

 Shortly after, Ochocinco found Boehner’s Twitter handle and sent him this message: “@SpeakerBoehner Just read some of your tweets and you seem pretty angry kind sir. I can see you on tv but you're not smiling. Hope you're ok.”

via Chad Ochocinco live tweets the SOTU

SOTU and other things

First off - dear Russian readers, I have enabled transliteration to Russian on my blog. I'm not sure if it's going to work or not? But there seem to be a lot of you, so let me know what's what.

Obama gave his State of the Union address last night! I have so many links for you guys. So many.

First off, I got a tumblr recently and intended to live-blog it, but then my phone died. All the same, you can see so many interesting things that I did. (HA NOT REALLY. But follow me on tumblr if that's your jam. And you mainly enjoy reading reblogs of NPR.)

Also, I wish I had gotten this out beforehand, but clearly I was ILL-PREPARED.

And the New York Times has a full transcript that you can make scroll with the video that includes fact-checking: AWESOME.

So I guess you can do the drinking game after all?


ANYWAY.

So, there's obviously some things in there that I was not that into (hydrofracking: I'm not a fan) but there were other things that I was really into (public disclosure of hydrofracking chemicals! YAY) and I ultimately learned that I'm the biggest nerd!

But really what I wanted to talk about today was the execution of this speech. Guys, this was some serious, serious politicking. It was masterful. I spent twenty minutes ranting at my roommate about the wordplay. Think what you will about his views, that speech was energizing.

There was also an artful use of distancing language in the beginning, when he talked about Detroit, saying that jobs had been lost, rather than using the more active language found in the rest of the speech (i.e., "We're building x! I've created x!" etc.).

This is something that I think we've stopped expecting from our politicians, and that's TERRIBLE. We're so used to politics being a mud-slinging fest in the last dozen or so years that we've forgotten what made the really great politicians great. It wasn't their ability to make other people look bad, or even themselves look good. When we think about Lincoln or Kennedy or Roosevelt, we think of how they made the American people band together, how they made people believe in themselves. Well, with Roosevelt, we also think about how he was the biggest BAMF of all time and space, and how he (purportedly) snuck out of the White House and taught a woman how to skin a bear.

The point is, a good politician can get himself elected. A great politician will make you want to run for office.

Anyway dudebros, you should read it. The man took what I and many other progressives viewed as a really necessary and incredibly strong stand.



(and finally, this is completely unrelated, but hahahahahaha I LOVE THIS PICTURE SET.)