Dear U.S. Government,
I was toooootally ready to be mad at you for the whole debt thing when I realized a lot of you congressmen probably aren't working with a very limited personal budget. Since I do have a limited budget and a fantastic credit rating, I thought I'd give you some tips.
1. Don't open another card unless you really need it.
See, a lot of people think that the more credit cards you have, the more you can spend. Not so! Your budget doesn't change just because you get a card with a $500 limit. You still have the same amount of money. Only now you, with your spending habits, will have $500 more in debt.
2. Ask your friends.
If you're thinking about getting something kind of expensive, talk to your friends about it first. You don't want to end up wasting a bunch of time and money on something everyone else thinks is completely stupid and useless. Also, if you keep ignoring your friends and their opinions, you're going to end up with no friends and only your big, ludicrous purchases to comfort you, except I bet you realize you didn't really want it in the first place and only got it because you thought it was the new cool thing, and now nobody likes you.
3. Plan your budget wisely.
Remember, there are a few things that should be your top spending priorities: housing, food, healthcare, your retirement fund, your future kids' college fund and general savings, just because how could you have known your parents would get old and need you to take care of them? No real American ever plans on getting old. This is because aging is the opposite of the American dream, which we know because Gatsby represented the American dream and he didn't really make it to old age.
That's kind of it! Just remember to make a budget and stick to it. Live below your means. Save for the future. Don't buy a new car because the old one smells weird when you use the heater sometimes.
Oh! One more thing, I forgot - don't borrow money from friends unless you can pay it back like the next day. Surest way to kill a friendship, I promise.
Xoxoxo,
ccb
I was toooootally ready to be mad at you for the whole debt thing when I realized a lot of you congressmen probably aren't working with a very limited personal budget. Since I do have a limited budget and a fantastic credit rating, I thought I'd give you some tips.
1. Don't open another card unless you really need it.
See, a lot of people think that the more credit cards you have, the more you can spend. Not so! Your budget doesn't change just because you get a card with a $500 limit. You still have the same amount of money. Only now you, with your spending habits, will have $500 more in debt.
2. Ask your friends.
If you're thinking about getting something kind of expensive, talk to your friends about it first. You don't want to end up wasting a bunch of time and money on something everyone else thinks is completely stupid and useless. Also, if you keep ignoring your friends and their opinions, you're going to end up with no friends and only your big, ludicrous purchases to comfort you, except I bet you realize you didn't really want it in the first place and only got it because you thought it was the new cool thing, and now nobody likes you.
3. Plan your budget wisely.
Remember, there are a few things that should be your top spending priorities: housing, food, healthcare, your retirement fund, your future kids' college fund and general savings, just because how could you have known your parents would get old and need you to take care of them? No real American ever plans on getting old. This is because aging is the opposite of the American dream, which we know because Gatsby represented the American dream and he didn't really make it to old age.
That's kind of it! Just remember to make a budget and stick to it. Live below your means. Save for the future. Don't buy a new car because the old one smells weird when you use the heater sometimes.
Oh! One more thing, I forgot - don't borrow money from friends unless you can pay it back like the next day. Surest way to kill a friendship, I promise.
Xoxoxo,
ccb
