5.21.2012

#new-to-adulthood-problems: HOLY CRAP THE DENTIST IS EXPENSIVE

So, part of having a job (yay!) with insurance (double yay!) is that you're expected to be on your own for your healthcare (booooooooooooo). Which, I mean, is fair. I'm an adult now and I pay my own bills and blah blah blah independence and whatever.

The point is, I had a really rude awakening when I went to get a filling replaced at the dentist today.

I have obviously been to a dentist before, and I even still have all my original teeth, so I've never had anything too crazy done, just a few fillings here and there over the years (especially around the time I had braces - man, do those things make it hard to keep your teeth clean). Anyway, the point is that the last time I went to the dentist, I was still in college and went to my family dentist in my hometown, under my parents' insurance, while my parents were still footing the bill for me being alive and staying alive (which, oh my god, so much more money than expected, maintaining these stupid fleshsacks). So I'd never really had to deal with a dental copay before.

I've only ever really had medical copays, which can get messy (I've had surgeries, been to specialists, been to the ER a whole mess of times, so on and so forth), especially when it's something out of the ordinary. But most of the time, I'm used to my copay being around $20, give or take, with the occasional gasping-and-clutching-my-wallet prescription copay of close to $100 (dear everyone, if you think you have a sinus infection, go to your doctor IMMEDIATELY, and just trust me on this one).

Also, I definitely freak out whenever anything costs upwards of $100. I usually do it quietly and inside my own head, and really quickly think about my bank account balance and whether or not I can still eat, and all the normal freak-out math you do when you're young and living on your own for the first time.

So you can imagine my inner turmoil when I got out of the dentist's chair, right side of my face still completely numb, and the receptionist tells me my copay will be $235.

Well, actually, she said "Two-thirty-five," and for a minute I was thinking, "That's completely ridiculous! She must mean $2.35, right? Wait, that doesn't make sense either." So I did the mental math really quickly and slowly handed over my debit card, all the while kind of thinking "Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit." Luckily I have a job that gives me insurance and also pays me well enough that I can work around that GIGANTIC F'ING GAPING HOLE that was once $235 in my bank account, but suddenly I can understand why people hate going to the dentist.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Dear all young people just getting started on your own, it is in fact better to go to the dentist than not, because what was a $235 filling today could have easily been a several-thousand-dollar root canal in six months' or a year's time.

But still. Just, you know. A warning. Because I really had no idea. Good god.

Somebody get moving on making our brains be part of an amorphous consciousness, stat. Then we won't even have teeth to worry about. Yes.