new york dating tips

I am obviously an authority on dating in New York, as I have dated about half of Manhattan (and probably a third of Brooklyn, with a few stray Bronx and Queens folks for good measure). This, in the world according to Carrie Bradshaw, makes me someone to be listened to on the topic.

Sure, I've only had one relationship that lasted longer than six weeks, but WHO CARES.

Anyway! This is my excellent, top-notch advice for those years when you just can't live with 'em, but you can't live without 'em. And you're incapable of liking anyone for more than fifteen minutes. I'll be posting one every so often for the foreseeable future (i.e., until I get bad at dating).

Never date on your line.

You know how, when you were in college, you hooked up with someone from your dorm at a party, and then you saw them every day forever with their new significant other, like they were rubbing their happiness in your face? In NYC, your subway line is your dorm. Do not sully it with tawdriness.

I once met a guy while on my old subway line (1 train, hollaaaaa). Like, literally, on the train. It was the best meet-cute I will probably ever get - we met eyes across the car, he was carrying some instrument case (I was young, okay?), he saw me starting to get off the train and ran to give me his card. He turned out to be a struggling musician (my 15-year old self would've been so impressed with me), who was busking for the majority of his cash and living in a bedroom with a broken door in the apartment of a rather large family in Washington Heights. We got along great for about a month, until he drank too much, said one of my friends roofied him (they hadn't), and threw up on my bed.

After which, of course, I ended up waiting on the same platform as him about once a week for the next few months.

Just don't, kids. Just. Don't.