5.24.2011

blerhhhh

So, still waiting to hear back from law firm. Had a really delightful interview with Wisconsin Job, but probably have to wait another week or two until I hear any sort of feedback on that, and if it's positive it means another round of interviews.

For the meantime, I decided to pound pavement today, going to a bunch of different open calls at NYC restaurants. I feel like all that happened is I gave away perfectly useful copies of my resume to people who are never gonna call and got a huge blister on my heel.

My best friend (who just got a seriously awesome job) and I talked about this a whole lot during our mutual job-search times: why is it that employers can't just say no? When I interviewed with the neurology lab, we both sort of said, "Welp, this isn't happening," shook hands and went our separate ways. That was a delight compared to sitting across a very tiny table from a very Baltic woman with very straight hair, watching her judge my humidity-ridden curls. I'm sorry it's May in New York, bar-hiring-lady, and that I spent an hour straightening my hair this morning only to walk outside and have my hair declare that that was a completely useless and idiotic thing to do.

I don't know. Job searching is making me feel impotent and out of control, which I really hate. I sat at my computer this morning, looking at all the job sites I could think of, filing for unemployment and straightening my hair, and I almost started crying. There is just something awful about sending off your resume into what feels like an empty yawning abyss, and there is something just as terrible as getting dressed up to have a bored hostess hand you an application and send you to the bar.

I just want one of the places I've applied to to say, "Oh. You're delightful! You're a great match. We would love to have you at our company." Just one. That's all it will take.

I think the thing that is the worst about this whole job-search thing is that I really want to work. I want a job and a steady paycheck and to be responsible for assignments. I've been having dreams about filling out I9s and ordering supplies.

I know I'm only in my second week of being technically unemployed, and I'm probably freaking out over nothing, and everything will probably be fine, and all that. I'm just really bad at not working. A friend of mine that graduated last week said that procrastinating is only fun when you have something more important to do, and that's definitely true.

Also the Sookie Stackhouse novel I tried to get on my ereader WILL NOT DOWNLOAD. It's like you're slapping me in the face, Charlaine Harris. Make it be there. I want to know what you say happens with Sookie and Eric. Especially since I got a copy of the GQ that has Alexander Skarsgard on the cover.

In other news, Happy Endings is a surprisingly great show, and you should be watching it.